Okay, many moons have past since I last blogged. Sorry to anyone who reads this and has been disappointed. Anyone who does read this and wasn’t, to thee I say: How dare you not weep in my absence! J

Moving on, today has been another warm, muggy day. They seem to be the trend during this season. Taking a signal from Mother Nature, I am staying only in air conditioned spaces; the only natural place to be. Being back at my parent’s house makes me feel like a guest or better yet a room renter. I eat most of my meals by myself; I clean my own room, kitchen, bathroom, and living room; and I buy my own groceries. These actions feel routine, yet there is a part of me that feels like I shouldn’t have to be taking care of everything on my own quiet yet. Strange time for that feeling to come up being as how I have lived this way for the last three to four years. I suppose this just proves the point that you don’t really realize how messed up you are until you leave your family and realize that not everyone lives the way you do.

That’s how it is for me at least. I fear that if I ever have another serious romantic relationship I will be too independent because I am stuck in this pattern or I will be too needy because I will collapse if I ever took the chance to lean on someone else. I’m going to college in the fall, but what I really want to do is regress back to some state of dependant childhood that I seem to have missed out on.

Anyways, that’s how I am today I guess: having a dependency complex in my air conditioned house.